::peeks in::
Anyone still here?
When I logged into Blogger tonight for the first time in 6 months and saw that the title of my last post was Realizing I can't do it all, I smiled.
Let's just jump back in.
One morning, about a month ago, I wasn't fast enough when my little miss "do it mySELF" went down too many stairs at once. I scooped her up and hugged her tight, attempting to make everything all better. She didn't seem to be in any pain after a few minutes had passed but she wasn't moving her left arm much. And it looked funny. I called her pediatrician and they went through a long list of questions and apparently a "funny looking arm" diagnosis warrants a trip to the ER.
I picked up Carina at preschool and brought her to Mike's work and then hightailed it to the Children's Hospital ER. The doctor examined her but since she showed no signs of pain she assumed Aurelia was fine. Protocol is an X-ray, though, so they wheeled us together, Aurelia sitting on my lap yelling, "wheeeee!" the entire time, all the way to Radiology. "Fun ride! Do again!"
The doctor was shocked to see that she had actually broken her arm. They sent us back to Radiology for more X-rays (I think the first one was kind of a we assume she's fine courtesy X-ray) "wheeeeee! Fun!" Then came the part where the had to sedate her in order to set the bone and put a cast on and I had to leave the room -- not because they made me, but because I couldn't watch. I sat right outside in the hallway, crying. Blaming myself.
She woke up happy and the hand-to-just-under-the-shoulder cast didn't even phase her. One more trip to Radiology "Fun ride! Wheeeee!" and then we headed home, about 7 hours after we had arrived. Way past her bed time, Aurelia fell asleep on the ride home.
4 short weeks later, she actually got the cast off today. They used a saw to cut it off and thinking she'd be afraid, the Radiology Technician had me hold up a towel so that she couldn't see what he was doing. She kept on trying to move it so she could watch. No fear, no tears. She's been so brave through this entire ordeal.
I, on the other hand, have been a freaking mess. Mommy guilt times a million on this one.
