My husband tells me that I'm beautiful all the time. I
believe that he truly thinks
I'm beautiful.
I wish that I
felt as beautiful as I look in his eyes. I used to, years ago. When I had the time to straighten my hair and keep my roots touched up (I've been blonde since I was sixteen) and when my face didn't look like the Pizza Hut pepperoni pizza that I joyfully ate
half of a few days ago.
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| On our honeymoon - I felt pretty then |
I
dyed my hair once during pregnancy - at the start of my 3rd Trimester, and I've touched it up twice since then. The same box of L'Oreal Feria that previously looked blonde, is now a brassy red. I'm pretty sure that pregnancy and nursing hormones are to blame here. AND, the few times I have tried to straighten my hair, it doesn't actually become straight anymore! It looks like I tried to crimp it, and that is
not a good look for me {as a matter of fact I don't really think that's a good look for anyone...}
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| At a friend's wedding recently - my hair is not straight, nor blonde |
And if that wasn't frustrating enough, it's actually falling out...in chunks. I have clogged our shower drain with gobs of my hair {not once, but
twice} and maintenance has had to come to the rescue. The first time it was so bad they actually had to replace the drain mechanism (seriously??)
 |
| Sad lonely hairballs in the shower |
So enough about my hair, let's talk skin. My complexion has almost always been a problem. My acne was so bad in Middle School that I was made fun of constantly. I tried so many different creams, medications, and home remedies, and nothing worked until Accutane. My skin looked great up until recently. Now I'm breakout central and I feel like I'm that awkward, insecure Middle Schooler all over again. I took a photo of this, too, but I just can't bring myself to post it.
I loved my straight blonde hair with just a little curl at the end and my clear, smooth skin, but now, I'm a brassy frizzy balding mess with a painful pimply face. Dwelling on this makes me feel so superficial. I have an amazing husband who thinks I am beautiful and an adorable baby, for which I could not be more thankful. Why am I so hung up on the way I look?
So now you know why
I haven't wanted to go shopping; I don't even want to look at myself in the mirror. This is also why I post very few pictures of myself on my blog {if you haven't noticed}...
I want to be the Me that likes the way she looks again. Help?
